playinginsand | [Rabbithole: Loo and Sokka, post Mikideath]

Entry tags:

[Rabbithole: Loo and Sokka, post Mikideath]

The Fire Palace is techincally a series of much smaller buildings grouped together and locked by walled footpaths and ornate gardens. The Imperial audience chambers are in the centre, near where the Royal family live in a smaller, heavily walled domicile. Guests are quartered in expansive rooms in one of the outer rings, a short walk away from the temple, used by all who live in the Palace.

One of the low buildings in the temple itself is dedicated to memorials to the departed. Smoke rises in thin worms from a thousand incense sticks, set before rolls representing the dead, individually or collectively. At the front, facing the worshipper as he enters, are twin rolls representing the parents of the current Fire Lord - one handsome king with his face marked by a hug burn scar, and one exotic looking blue eyed woman, sporting a scar of her own. As only four people in the world have ever met Melaka Fray, no one's arguing the likeness.

The victims of the recent border attack are in a temporary position next to Zuko. Each name is written out in perfect and careful calligraphy grouped by nation, and not one is left out, no matter who they might have been or which element they subscribed to. The sand in front of that scroll burns with more sticks than anywhere else, today.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It's not just me," Louise says, standing slowly in a practiced motion that keeps her graceful regardless of her knees' protests. "It's never just me."

"If it had been," his hand is on her shoulder, a heavy weight rather than warmth with her armor in the way, "I would still be here.

"I'd probably be more helpful, at that."

Weight or not, her head turns to it, still looking down.

"If it had been I wouldn't have failed her."

"Don't. This was not your fault. She knew that and she never would have blamed you." Taking a deep breath, Sokka nearly deflates with the exhale, letting his hand pass over her hair where she can feel it. "She knew you loved her and she knew you had other responsibilities. She was too responsible herself - too much like you."

"Was she?" Louise asks slowly, and steps towards him, armour and all, into his arms.

"I don't know. You knew her better than me."

Wrapping his arms around her, Sokka drops his chin to his chest, eyes closing halfway. "She knew you. She used to ask about you all the time - don't worry, Steph and I were glad to tell her as many stories as we could think of.

"She was proud of you," he says quietly, petting her hair, "proud of where she came from."

Louise inhales deeply, and exhales slowly, catching occasionally.

"Jesu, Uncle. I'm such a mess."

"You're allowed to be." He hugs her a little tight, bowing a little more, trying to curl around her almost. He wishes Iroh was here.

He loves Lu but Iroh was his introduction to having a son and he wants to hold onto that, too.

"Don't worry what you look like. Break down now while you have the time, I'm not going to tell anyone, Louise."

She had been fighting it, but calling her 'Louise' just breaks the last thing she had, and the thirty-six year old woman gasps in sobs as she curls into her uncle's arms.

She was seven when her mother died, fifteen when her dad followed. She's buried an Uncle, sent a sister off to uncertain death, and submitted a child to the Earth Kingdom for the look of it.

And finally something's managed to knock the wind out of her.

Sokka may be Water Tribe, but he takes that wind without breaking a step, holding her tightly, stroking her hair and back. His head is bowed, his eyes half-closed, he holds her and encourages her to break down...

He doesn't break back, murmuring low toned words against her hair while he holds her up.

That's what hurts worse, really, breaking down in the arms of someone who has the exact same reason to be breaking himself. It make Louise feel weak.

She rocks slightly against him, before pulling away, glancing with tear-filled eyes at the empty entrance to the shrine.

"I'm sorry..."

Cupping his face, Sokka kisses her brow while she's still upset enough to let him. "Don't apologize to me. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should've..." Louise protests, and shakes her head. She

should have

nearly anything.

"We're supposed to go

first

"Nothing ever ends like it's supposed to," he says quietly, holding her a little tighter. He pauses, just for a moment, a beat of silence, before he adds, "your dad told me that."

She breathes out again, and turns to the picture of her father. It's not a prefect likeness, but at least it looks more like him than the one of her mother.

Head leaning on Sokka, she swallows and says, "he'd never have given us up."

"Yes, he would have, if he knew that was the best thing for you. He went off for a couple of days by himself, just after your mom died. He couldn't be around you three without breaking down, so he took off. But he came back."

Petting her hair still, Sokka adjusts his hold on her to something more secure, lips at her hair again. "Ai-ling knew why you did what you did. And she got to see you and she was proud of you. She was happy her whole life and she loved you. You're a good mother, Lu, even when you don't get to see your kids, and that is extremely impressive."

"Please," Louise protests, trying hard not to sound bitter.

A good mother would have gone first.

"I just... I don't know what to do now."

Quiet for a long moment, Sokka doesn't stop stroking her hair. But he isn't so relaxed anymore and the quiet is speechlessness, not a choice.

A good father wouldn't have let his son go.

"...what you're doing is fine," he says finally, softly enough that the break in his voice is barely heard. "You're doing your best to make sure the bastards that did this get what they deserve. That's what she would have wanted you to do."

She swallows, painfully, and move her head slightly. Whether it wants to be a nod or a shake isn't clear.

"Zheng says I should take some time off. But if I stop I don't know how I'll start again."

"It's possible Zheng is right," Sokka replies softly, head bowed. "He does have his moments.

"...you should come stay with us, Lu. Spend some time with Kanna."

With her granddaughter.

"Sokka..." Louise protests. That wasn't what she was worried about.

"I can't. I can't stop. I'm not ready to stop yet. There's stuff to be done here."

With her children.

"Offer stands."

For whenever she's ready to take it. He isn't going to criticize her for wanting to stay and work when he abandoned his wife only two days after they find out about Miki, just to see the men who did it.

To finish it.

Louise really does nod then.

"I'm sorry."

This time for not taking the offer, and for not being there for Kanna.

"If there's anything she needs..."

"I've always let you know. I'm not going to stop now. Visiting would be for you, not her."

Swallowing back a sigh, Sokka bends to put his arms fully around her and hold her tight. Just for a moment, though, brief before he straightens and steps back to put his hands on her shoulders. Holding his children, niece, or nephew has never been a task, never a responsibility, and the same for comforting them.

But he can't keep holding her if he wants to keep his own composure.

"Do what you need to do," Sokka says quietly, head ducked to look her in the eye, serious, "and come see us when you're ready. But don't hurt yourself in the process, you promise me?"

Louise is silent for a few seconds before she says,

"I promise I'll try."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject